I find writing to be a most interesting process. I read recently that much of what we write we must have the courage to wad up and throw away, as it was simply a process to get to what we were really trying to say. Practicing this allows one to reveal one’s heart and soul, and in so doing perhaps allow fellow readers to have that moment C.S. Lewis describes as, “Oh, you too? I thought I was the only one.”
My previous post on Narrow Gate Farm in Chiang Rai, Thailand contains a photograph that I will always remember, an image of God speaking to me with clarity. While that post needed to be done for the sake of telling about this amazing farm, my heart longed to share more.
My time on the farm was a much appreciated respite from the noise of traveling through every imaginable scenario in multiple countries over the prior 10 days. The quietness here was only interrupted by the baahhhing of goats, the wind stirring in the trees and the occasional sound of milk hitting the bottom of an aluminum bucket as Nat, the farm caretaker, continued her chores.
Nat (pronounced Not) has a very sweet spirit that reflects how much she loves working here on the farm, milking and caring for the goats. Our communication consisted of few words but very big smiles. Our time together with the goats and the newborn puppies was very special. Nat’s smile and kindness reminded me of my daughter Christina, whose physical presence here on earth is missed beyond which I have words to describe. Finding that Nat is only a year apart from Christina made the connection I felt with her all the more meaningful. After kneeling over the newborn puppies with Nat and repositioning them so that their feeding continued, I walked away with tears streaming down my face, reflecting on how much Christina would have loved this place and working here as Nat does. My short walk alone prompted me to cry out to God for some confirmation that Christina could see what I’m doing and continue her proudness of me that was so evident throughout our life together here on earth.
Returning from my brief walk I stopped to photograph the Narrow Gates sign, peering through the viewfinder in hopes of a new and unique angle to add interest.
This is where Star Effects, Sun Stars and Starbursts come into play. It’s a photographic phenomenon that occurs, irreproducible by humans, and it cannot be seen through the view finder of the camera but only after the photograph is taken. To me, the timing of the starburst peeking through the hole in the sign was God saying, “yes I see you, Chistina sees you and you are loved beyond your ability to comprehend.”
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and of unspeakable love.” ~Washington Irving